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Lyrics

First there was cash, then net income was what mattered
After that, everybody cared about EBITDA
Which stands for earnings before interest taxes depreciation & amortization
Finally, some genius came up with Adjusted EBITDA
I love it

Give ‘em the old Adjusted EBITDA
Adjusted EBITDA
Give ‘em no cash with lots of adds to it
And the reaction will be passionate
Give 'em the old hocus pocus
Depreciation
How can they see through all of your damn lies?
What if your old plants all are rusting
What if, in fact, you’re just hustling?
Adjusted EBITDA
And the stock will then rise
Give 'em the old Adjusted EBITDA
Give 'em a sum with zero stock based comp
Stockholders then will sing and dance and stomp
Give 'em the old flimsy fable
Fool and fracture 'em
So they won’t know that we are really poor
We’re very good at double crosses
Since we add back the one-time losses
Adjusted EBITDA
And they'll beg you for more!
Give 'em the old goodwill addback
Make ‘em think it’s good
Back since the days of P.T. Barnum
What they don’t know will never harm ‘em
Add back the interest and taxes
Stun and stagger 'em
When you're in trouble, adjust for currency
Though your cash flow is really dropping
They’ll think that things are really hopping
Adjusted EBITDA
Then one plus one will make three
Give 'em the old Adjusted EBITDA
Adjusted EBITDA
Tell ‘em the company is really scalable
They try to call, you’re not available
Give 'em the old Adjusted EBITDA
Adjusted EBITDA
Show ‘em the first-rate CFO you are
Long as skeletons are in the closet
How can they spot you’ve got no profit
Adjusted EBITDA
Adjusted EBITDA
Adjusted EBITDA
And your stock will go far